Parenting In The Year The Earth Stood Still
History will see 2020 as being a watershed year. Before #Covid19, the world moved at a breakneck pace, with the perceived advancements made, papering over some fundamental societal (and personal) issues: #climateemergency, #socialinequality, #Brexit, some interesting elections coming up in parts of the world where democracy seems to be under attack, and many others. The pandemic has somewhat stalled a lot of what passed as normal before and given us some time to reflect on what the new normal may be.
What does this have to do with parenting? Nothing and everything. Parents by default tend to want the best for their children and will make extraordinary sacrifices to give them what they deem the best they can. This also means that we try to navigate the world and have to make sense of what is trending to equip ourselves first and then our children with tools to understand and hopefully deal with things in our own capacities. I touched on this briefly in my article about dad’s raising daughters. This can breed anxiety and manifest itself unconsciously when we are trying to perform our parental responsibilities. In short, us parents worry a lot.
I have tried to spend more time with myself to help me deal with life’s challenges differently. I have even taken up hockey again having not picked up a stick in over 35 years!
With #Covid19 rates increasing dramatically over the recent weeks in the UK and our children going back to school: Are they going to be safe? What if they are not? Should we just take our kids out of school and home school them permanently? How do we develop their social skills? What happens if the economy tanks further? How is #Brexit going to affect the UK in 2021 and beyond? What if… Aarrgghhh!! (and deep breath)
There will be no answers in this article. There can’t be. Everyone’s situation is personal and unique.
The way I see it though, with every disruption, there are opportunities:
- I have tried to change the way I interact with my daughters and my wife by addressing what I may have been neglecting
- I have realised that control is just an illusion
- I have tried to spend more time with myself to help me deal with life’s challenges differently. I have even taken up hockey again having not picked up a stick in over 35 years! #SurbitonHC #Back2Hockey
- I have honed my DIY skills
- I have started cooking again
- I am contributing to #dishevelleddad :-)
The above seems to be about me rather than my daughters, but if I don’t fix myself, deal with my stress and grow with them, I won't be the best dad that they need me to be.
What are you doing to cope?
Rashied Daniels, perma-stressed father of 2 wonderful daughters and a Dishevelled Dad.